And by the climax, I was amazed at the number of issues Khuda Kay Liye touched upon. We had the whole gamut. Atrocities faced by women at the hands of fellow-Muslims, double standards of Muslim parents living abroad (I have seen this with non-Muslim Indians too), injustice disseminated because of racial profiling, Jihadi’s misuse of easily-influenced-relatively-meek youngsters to turn them into terrorists. Each problem is given its own space to breathe and develop.

The parallels drawn between the racial profiling storyline based out of Chicago and all the other things happening in Pakistan were amazing. There are points where you can interchange the US law officials with the Jihadi leaders in terms of their unyielding attitude towards whatever they believe is the truth. How they all mince words to have people say what they want to listen to. And to make sure the audience doesn’t miss the parallels, the similarities are directly shown towards the climax.

The strong and clever dialogues had a huge role to play in the overall impact In the name of Godhad. I was wondering how much more effect it would have had on me had I understood the language completely. The use of Urdu is elegant, and at the same time not entirely overwhelming. Since the movie is more or less situation-driven you can make a fair guess from the context.

However, there was a lack of the same aptitude in the departments other than story and dialogue. In particular, the editing was very abrupt and didn’t render a smooth flow. The only exception was in the climax scene in the courtroom, where the cuts worked towards narrating the story. Similarly, while the songs were beautiful, the shifts in and out of western classical in the background music seemed pretty random.

Most of the actors too came across as very stiff. Only, Shan (Mansoor) stood out with an excellent performance – from the inspired musician to a completely broken down man. Fawad Khan who played a confused youngster, Sarmad, did look aptly baffled. So it would be too soon to judge whether he can really enact other emotions.

But, given the strength of the message all these shortcomings seem pardonable. The questions that I am left with are – Has it reached the right ears? Or at the very least have the people sitting on the fence convinced to keep from committing such heinous acts?

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

Meanwhile, suggestions for a descriptive rating to go between the second-last and middle rating are welcome!

Jodhaa Akbar can be clearly divided into two parts – the political saga and the romance between the royal couple. It is also obvious that the romance is the prime focus of the narrative.

Hrithik Roshan (Emperor Akbar) who is chiseled to fit the handsomest mould and picture-perfect, Aishwarya Rai-Bachchan (Queen Jodhaa) are wonderful in their scenes together. You get your dose of Chemistry along with History and Geography. But, I would say that it is largely due to the time given for that chemistry to develop – for the curiosity to become respect to become love. And here we hit the circular argument; the time taken is the biggest culprit. The movie is unjustifiably long.

In these often heavily clichéd romantic scenes, the law of diminishing returns kept cropping into my mind. In any movie in general, every extra minute beyond the 120-minute mark yields lesser enjoyment than the previous one. Unless, unless … you have an extremely captivating story to tell, or you are telling it in an extremely captivating manner. I need something more than glittery jewelry and costumes, bright reds, oranges, and yellows, and fantabulous sets to keep me from fidgeting. Something more natural, something less made-up. And get this, here the interval is at 120 minutes!

The romance is pretty dull. From the bedroom tiffs to the mistaken identities – nothing is new or handled in a creative way. Especially appalling is the way the mother of all misunderstandings takes shape – a speech delivered in the most monotonous fashion by Ms. Rai-Bachchan. The sole scene that might stand out is the sword fight between the two. All-in-all this romance lacked Bhuvan-Gauri’s innocent charm or Mohan Bhargav-Geeta’s elegance.

On the other hand, the political drama, including the dialogues, was extremely interesting, – even though most of it is a voiceover delivering a lesson in history. All credit to the history teacher, Amitabh Bachchan – listen to how the voice softens when it talks about Jodhaa. Some of the political situations are executed really well too. The reactions of various Rajputs to Akbar’s orders is a fine example.

Another highlight of political dramas is the language used. Both Urdu and Hindi are used beautifully, especially in the political sequences. At times the same dialogue was repeated once in each language. It sounded like an enchanting jugalbandi of the languages.

Unfortunately though, these are treated as mere sub-plots to give a break to the mushy-mushy happenings in the main story. Most of the side characters are underdeveloped and thus one-dimensional. It seems like the director is simply fulfilling his duty by filling us in on the political environment. To watch Akbar become a crowd-pleaser with just one act of kindness is unconvincing. If this one action is supposed to be symbolic of all such actions he must have taken, then it is extremely dissatisfying. More instances of Jodhaa being the light that guides Akbar’s soul would not have harmed. And of course, lack of time cannot be an excuse now, can it?

The war and action scenes are an integral part of the entire drama. While other battle sequences are rather repetitive, the first one has some exquisite camera work and background score. Some of the fast camera movements have an awesome 3-D effect (okay, almost!). The silences add to the drama as much as the drum rolls.

The Rahman-Gowariker duo usually churns out some wonderful music. And if nothing else they are a spectacle. But, here I felt let down. Only towards the end of “Khwaja” did I realize that all through the song they were trying to build Akbar’s character. To show how he can be mesmerized and go into a trance. Till then, all I could do was empathize with the giggles around me looking at mannequins wearing clay-pot-look-alike hats and attempting a puppet dance. “Azeem-o-shaan” is brilliant more because of the crowd and the aerial shots rather than the choreography and use of color. We’ve had much better from both A. R. Rehman’s musical sensibilities and Javed Akhtar’s pen and imagination.

Mr. Gowariker, how about leaving the melodrama, the “almighty solving all problems without any input from humans” syndrome to the Barjatyas? How about letting Ekta Kapoor reign the “salt-pepper” kitchen politics? So, we can block that out of our systems just by name. Surely there must have been more to the saas-bahu equation than that! Cannot thank you enough for sparing us the triple action repeat cuts, though. A thousand salutations to N D Studios, magnificent sets! But how about leaving that to the Bhansalis of the world? What’s the point if you can’t focus on what you do best – narrate a story, reach out to us?

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do (but, if you must watch it in theaters)

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

The subtle comedy in the first half is an integral part of the plot – from a comment on “anything free is better” attitude, to the hints at the eating habits of people in the film industry. Barring a lone toilet joke, the interdependency between the lines and the situation brings a flow to the plot. The humor along with the art direction, the background score, the performances, etc. create an environment conducive to suspension of disbelief. And disbelief you can live with. Only to see the movie being rushed from one episode to the other keeping a 120 minute time-limit in mind.

Genre shifts or mixing too many genres generally bother me. But, the finger cannot be pointed towards that either. It moves from dark comedy to plain dark. That’s not that much of a shift. But its disconcerting to see the humor dry up along the way. I would blame the writing for the downfall – the dialogues are not witty or funny any more, the sub-plots not that well streamlined. And it lacked the punch, the mind-bending twist that a movie of this genre needs.

Giving credit where it’s due though, only the likes of Rajat Kapoor could cast Ranveer Shorey as the main lead. It takes guts to have Naseeruddin Shah play second fiddle. And he certainly has made an attempt to show the many layers of VK/Raj’s (Ranveer Shorey) character. Now, whether he was successful in getting them across to the audience is an altogether different issue. An awesome opportunity to portray the VK’s mental process is lost.

The first half-second half split in writing has taken its toll on the performances too. A promising start has everybody doing their bit and getting a cackle out of you with their comic timing. And suddenly, the acting too becomes very superficial as the movie approaches the climax.

On the other hand, I thoroughly enjoyed the background score throughout the movie. At times however, especially in the beginning, it overpowered the volume of the dialogues and thus I might have missed a few good dialogues. But overall, it was refreshing accompaniment.

A second half that flowed better would have made Mithya a must watch with its tongue-in-cheek humor. The anti-climatic climax leaves you feeling high and dry. All this hoopla for what? The most common way to get to a oft-repeated noir climax?

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

and long discourses delivered by a neighbor, a colleague or a rickshaw-walaaa.

Brainless chicks and men who have crassness for wit deliver without a commaaa,

lines that seem like they have been written by a spot boy with the production-fellaaa.

Screaming – the only way they were taught to act at the school of overacting and melodramaaa,

Rama Rama Kya Hai Dramaaa.

Middle-of-frame objects, close-ups – surely there are other ways to use the cameraaa.

And, where’s the rhythm, where’s the flow? If it’s not in the lyrics or the orchestraaa,

can we blame the editor, when its not on his agendaaa?

The maker is by far no Hrishikesh Mukherjee and the reviewer is only meetaaa,

so just like the movie, 2 extra “aa”s aren’t going to make this review any bettaaa.

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

The non-linear narrative keeps you alert but gets in the way of character development. Which is why the gray characters seem distant. You can’t sense their desperation. That none of the characters are wrong and no one is certainly all right is beautiful. But, before you begin to get the nuances of the character and sense their frustration, the narrative shifts to another time or place or both. This is very disorienting, especially towards the end.

Besides that however this technique of story-telling is used effectively to pique interest. The hard work that goes into the details of editing is apparent. Where exactly to cut from one sub-plot to the other is ever so important in such a movie. While these cuts worked at most times they seemed to have adversely effected the pacing towards the end.

Strangers offers another great performance by Kay Kay Menon. And it is a pleasure to see Jimmy Shergill in a role that does his talent justice. It is to their credit that understanding what their characters were feeling, at any particular moment, needed no words. The relatively sparse dialogues are smart and at the very least cliché-free. The women on the other hand are not given enough room to showcase their capabilities. It seemed as if a lot less attention was paid to their roles and lines, which translated to lesser screen-time.

It was nice to see use of handheld camera where it made sense, to create effect. E.g. in the train shots. Use of close-ups to bring focus to the expressions of the speaker at dramatic moments seemed purposeful and thus created the necessary impact. The lighting too was used tastefully.

The decision to go the stylistic narrative route at a slow pace along with a 90 minute run-time has taken its toll on character development. An interesting plot loses steam because of the urge to do too many things in too little time.

Parental Guidance: The basic concept of the movie is extra-marital affairs and the tone of the movie is very serious. However, there is no on-screen sexual or violent content.

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

Soha Ali Khan, Shiney Ahuja, Rajat Kapoor, and Vinay Pathak are all good actors. But, here they come across as just going through the motions. It can be claimed that the movie is not really a story but just a comment on the lifestyles of the people it is about. But, for that to come across too, a certain amount of insight into the character is necessary.

Khoya Khoya Chandrevolves around Nikhat and her relationships. But by the time you have figured that out, you have lost interest. Mainly because the screenplay meanders around trying to show everyone’s point of view. I usually enjoy movies/stories narrated from various points of view, but here not one view is fully fleshed out. Even Nikhat’s character doesn’t seem completely thought out.

Isn’t it a shame that after spending over two hours with Nikhat you have no clue what she feels for the other characters in the movie? Or is that how she is? Clueless about her own relationships? Either which way, you couldn’t care less. The chops from one scene to the other are also very distracting. Before you can sink your teeth into what a character is trying to say/do/feel you are led straight into the next episode.

I very rarely question why a person falls in love with another person. You know – “love happens”. But, after having blindly accepted that, I think I deserve a peep into how the couple spends time together and how they grow apart. Nope, no such luck. I am just told, by way of plain dialogue or glycerin-filled eyes what transpired after the last scene.

Khoya Khoya Chand is also about emptiness in the lives of people, more specifically of people that work in the film industry. It also shows the fallibility of the “stars” as people who are portrayed larger than life in reel-life. The irony is staring you in your face. Uh…so what? We know that. Our “star” who played the oh-so-lovable Munnabhai is in and out of prison for being involved with terrorists for goodness sake!

However, I’d like to thank the director for taking us to the charming 50s-60s. (Except for the title song – which is the best, but it seems a little modern compared to the setting of the rest of the movie.) Especially the songs – music, lyrics, presentation. The music and lyrics are truly refreshing.

Yet, I saw no specific reason for it to be set in the 50s. It might as well have been a present-day story. True, there are tributes to various actors, directors, music directors of that era. And there certainly must have been a few that I missed because I am not completely aware of what was happening in the personal lives of people from that era. Any which way, I found the lives portrayed very one-dimensional, very ordinary.

And the other technical aspects are extraordinarily bizarre. The light seemed to be coming in from the weirdest places and gave many scenes a very artificial look. There were way too many close-ups and almost no on-location sets. It made me feel like I was trapped in low-budget Bhansali-land. And when the camera wasn’t closing in on faces, it was going around in circles for no particular reason. More so, towards the end of the movie. Put together, they didn’t create any impact at all.

And what exact purpose were the time-transition title cards serving – “One month later”, “two months later”? Were they supposed to imply that whatever was shown after the last title card happened in one day? However, the title cards in the end said loud and clear, “this is where we ran out of money, so sorry – story finish. khel khatam, paisa hajam (money digested, game over). Tata. Good bye. Go home.” Haven’t seen a more abrupt ending in the recent past.

As I write this review, I am running through the movie again and again. It’s a Sudhir Mishra product. There must be some larger point, where is it hiding? Or maybe the point is to show the pointlessness of existence. If so, it doesn’t interest me, and so this one was clearly not for me.

Parental guidance: When there is a good chance that adults might get bored, I doubt children are going to sit through it. Besides, the story is about adult relationships. Visually there are a couple mild love scenes.

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

It’s a musical, so neither is great acting demanded nor is it delivered. Everybody has to do their bit without going over-the-top and that’s what they stick to. It is very interesting and rather commendable that although Madhuri is the heart and soul of the movie, only once in a while do you realize that it is Madhuri you are watching and not Dia. The gripping script deserves as much credit as the woman herself. She is aging gracefully, and it’s great that she is playing mother to a 10-12 year old and not posing as a college student. I am really glad they didn’t work very hard on covering up the blemishes on her face. Makes her more earthly.

Fortunately, the story is not just about her. And the movie is not just about her magical smile and wonderful eyes. Focus on just one character makes a movie very plain. Anyway, there is nothing very remarkable about her character. Aaja Nachle is more a comment on the onslaught of commercialization. About how politicians and businessmen play together to achieve whatever fancies their whim. It is also an attempt to show how a new educated breed of politicians can use this power to make a difference if they will. And all of this is running in the background, so there is no preaching. All-in-all, pretty decent fare for a feel good movie.

After a long while, a really long while, I was thinking, “oh cool, it’s not even interval yet” instead of “oh crap, it’s not even interval yet.” The first half was very engrossing. And that the script was in the safe hands of Jaideep Sahni was a comforting thought during the interval. “Even if it drops, it’s not going to plummet to the bottom.” And drop it does. The second half seemed rushed. The little nuances of characters that I admired in the beginning were all mish-mashed and lost by the end.

But, the 20-minute grand finale in the form of a play makes up for all of that. What a spectacle! Yes, they don’t let you forget you are watching a movie that has Yash Raj money pouring into it, and not a play. The edits, camera movements, art design all work towards that…and what a spectacle!! The lyrics, the music, the performances, the costumes, the colors, the choreography all make you wish that your eyes didn’t need to blink. And that makes the extra half hour (over the standard two-hour length) acceptable. The audience in the theater was clapping after the play. It’s almost as if the makers anticipated this and left a brilliantly timed pause at the end of the play.

Is it only befitting that the who’s who of the Indian “parallel” cinema is asked to sing and dance? Because the characters in the movie are also the most unlikely to dance. Who would have imagined Ranvir Shorey, Vinay Pathak, and Konkana Sen Sharma would all be part of a musical? Or is it just that the producer wanted to say, “See, I made them dance too!” I wonder.

Is this becoming a formula at Yash Raj Films?

• One “star” whose name will pull in crowds
• good, relatively low profile actors to form the rest of the cast – who shouldn’t mind/should have the exposure
• an above average, feel-good script
• dialogues that balance humor, charming believability, profundity

Just an observation, not complaining…not yet.

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

Way too many characters have been inserted just for the sake of representing a stereotype, including the Bangladeshi who takes the beating or is ignored all the time. Mere perfunctory. The motivation behind each characters metamorphosis is just a supposedly powerful, however clichéd, dialogue. Barring a 2-3 funny the rest are either lame, preachy, boring or all of the above.

The story is the run-of-the-mill underdog story. No surprises there, the promos said it all. Also, it as it says in so many words serves an “us vs. them” agenda, than a story of the underdogs. I am also open to being aware of injustice done to people elsewhere, but I couldn’t sympathize with the characters here. The screenplay consciously follows a pattern. Comic scene followed by emotional scene followed by a lighter one and repeat. The pattern doesn’t have rhythm. They do not flow into each other, they chop into each other.

Was there any editing at all, I mean other than that necessary to join one scene to the other? I can recall at least 3 scenes that only served the purpose of giving John Abraham more screen time. A few more such scenes for Boman Irani and almost all of Bipasha Basu’s scenes.

John seems to have added to his range of expressions, I enjoyed his attitude in the first few sacenes that had him. But later, it weared off. Boman was made to yell and overact on occasion. Anyways his character was not strong enough to make me care. Bipasha – well she had no character at all. Oops…that was not how I meant it to come out, but you know what I mean. A non-male is needed in a story for it to sell, so we spend on her make-up and clothes. Who has extra money or time to spend on her characterisation, etc? Let’s just make her giggle and smile it out.

A sports movie has tremendous scope for the cameraman. Especially a game with fast movements, like football. But the opportunity is not utilized to the fullest. We get nothing spectacular. Not to mention that the football action scenes are unsuccessful at deception. It is all too plain that there were stunt doubles. And the non-football field scenes are shabbily shot.

The music and lyrics are below average too. In fact, realizing that Javed Akhtar wrote, “Hey dude, don’t mess with me” for a team that doesn’t believe in itself is sad. However, Choreography of “billo” is nice.

But, these are only means to the end. The movie cannot sit on their laurels, even if they were done well. Sports movies in India are generally made around invoking some kind of patriotism. I am not saying they should stop doing that. But, why would I care about some county league in England for goodness sake!? My patriotism is not nudged by the woes of “browns” settled abroad for their personal progress. Don’t get me wrong, I most certainly have nothing against people migrating. In fact, there is no learning better than exposure to a different way of living. But, the immigrants are living there for a purpose and the positives do outweigh the negatives.

A huge percentage of South Asians staying abroad will identify with the movie. And my view of the world is not so romantic that I would deny the existence of racism. But, the world portrayed here is the imagery that lives in closed minds. By the minds that enjoy nurturing “oooh-look-at-me-I-am-marginalised.” Do people from this section who are doing well in their lives complain about racism? I didn’t miss an ad featuring Shah Rukh Khan on a UK street. How many of the people who are not doing well would do well if they were in their countries?

Is the aim to reduce the racism or to fan it further? Sports many-a-time borders war in real life. Do we need movies to do that too?

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

Review:
This love story has nothing unique about it. The two protagonists are equally adorable characters, but want different things. Therefore, the audience is forced to take sides between two good people. This is indeed a very interesting and novel concept for us as an audience. Also, the good thing about non-unique subjects is that it is easier for a larger audience to identify with the characters. But, unfortunately, whether it is the dialogues, or the theatrical acting, or the slow pace, or the direction, or a combination of all, I didn’t get involved enough to care too much for either of the characters.

Interestingly, I was more curious about Gulaabji’s (Rani Mukherjee’s) character. It could be because Rani played it really well and was the only one who got good lines.

The other dialogues were outright tedious. Especially the monologues given to Ranbir Kapoor. Both the lines and he as an actor were trying too hard to charm. He seemed to be treading the thin line between being cute and coming across as mentally retarded. And even though he is really good at making use of his puppy eyes, Ranbir shouldn’t have been asked to giggle or wriggle. He certainly shouldn’t have been asked to dance behind a semi-transparent towel, with light thrown from the “appropriate” direction. I know-I know, elsewhere, I have appreciated female audience being taken care of appropriately, but a quarter-monty just for the sake of it? No, thank you!

Sonam too had dull lines and her expressions looked like they were on a programmed loop – sad-smile-giggle-happy-glycerinated eyes-repeat. But the chemistry between her and Salman Khan was really good. She did look really dainty and with a touch-me-not quality. But, I would really have liked to see her with fewer layers of make-up. My guess is that she would look prettier.

The one thing that I enjoyed a lot was the songs. Sameer’s lyrics were only a shade better than his own average. But, the music was nice and soothing (except for the title track). There was something about the way the songs were recorded that made you take note of the singers. Kunal Ganjawala’s voice gives the songs the required energy. The group choreography was fresh. But when Ranbir was alone on the screen things became really hilarious. He has this unique Dev Anand-meets-Raj Kapoor-meets-Shammi Kapoor-meets-Prabhu Deva potpourri dancing style which obviously ends up being weird. However, the use of colors and contrast, and the lighting were very different from the rest of the movie. All this put together made the songs an enchanting watch.

Speaking of enchantment, we know that the only way Sanjay Leela Bhansali can make movies is when it has grand sets. It’s a fetish; it’s like choosing the best-looking font before starting work on a document. He knows they look artificial, so this once, he picked a subject that would give him the excuse to use grandeur. He made a fairy tale. Even if you keep this disclaimer in mind, there is nothing spectacular about the sets. The entire movie is shot just within one studio setting. To maintain the tone, the few long shots of this wonderland are animated (with a toy train running through it). But the beauty is captivating for about two seconds.

A barely interesting subject combined with an unnecessarily slow pace makes the movie just-about watchable. The main characters are sweet, but do not have the muscle to pull it through.

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

No guys, my sense of humor hasn’t taken a Diwali break. I am intelligent enough to realize the “spoof” genre requires you to make minimal use of intellect. I thoroughly enjoyed the “spot-the-tribute” game. I am sure I got most of the industry jokes. A few of them even had me in splits. And the coolest thing was that the people being made fun of couldn’t be offended because the makers were equally vehement in making fun of themselves.

But, it angered me when the movie shifted gears from paying homage to the 70s to actually becoming one of them. Because movies from the 70s certainly were not this blatantly arrogant. However lame, they did afford the audience a justification. No sirs and madam, “anything” doesn’t go – sab kuchh nahi chalta hai! – Isn’t that what you wanted the citizens of this country to say, Mr. Khan?

The movie is reverse engineered. First came the idea of making a movie that took a dig at the movies that gave “Bollywood” its name. Then came the list of names/clichés/industry trends that had to be, with all humility, made fun of. Then came the individual gags. To be followed by the situations that could use those gags. This made the first half and suddenly realization dawned that the audience is not “that” stupid. They need a plot. So, let’s throw in the first theme that comes to mind. And there you go, we have a movie. What we also have is this obvious rush to get from one joke to another and one event to another. The end product is choppy with very abrupt plot transitions.

Now, you tell me, where’s the time to fit in character development or chemistry between characters? Oh I forgot, spoof – no need for any such thing even if we did have time.

Unfortunately, because of this excuse, I lose the golden opportunity of truly criticizing Shah Rukh Khan’s acting capabilities. Spoof, right? One is supposed to overact. It is tragic that Kirron Kher also is annoyingly loud under the same pretext. So what, if in the same movie, Deepika Padukone, a debutante manages to get through with just the right expressions. And she looks drop-dead gorgeous.

The good thing about having a woman director is that many women in the audience are kept happy with a very wet, bare-chested Shah Rukh for almost five minutes. A by-product of which is also a happy male, gay community. So what if the main woman lead is merely used to stun as a pretty prop?

The best thing to come out of the movie is the lyrics. Especially the romantic numbers “aankho meir teri” and “tumko paaya”. The picturization of “tumko paaya” is very adorable too. However, the choreography of the faster numbers seems like a medley of Farah’s older sequences and thus has nothing new to offer. The one song that does not work is “daastaan-e-om shanti om”. It does not have the edge, the zing, that “ek hasina thi” (Karz) it tried to spoof has.

I think my most favorite sequence was the end credits. I love Farah Khan for giving credit where it is due. But, what does it say about the movie, if that is my favorite bit?

These are no dimwits and they have a great sense of humor – Farah Khan, Shah Rukh Khan – basically the Khan family. Then, how could they take their audience so much for granted? Yes, we are in a festive mood, we are willing to lap up anything remotely happy. But, does that mean you shouldn’t even attempt to sharpen the movie a bit? Each episode in the movie is a bit longer than necessary. Each cliché repeated a few more times than needed to keep it funny. Each exaggeration a little more melodramatic (imagine that!?) to make it annoying.

The entire movie is a spoof. Then you have a spoof within a spoof. Then a spoof within a spoof within a spoof. So far, so good. You have learnt to excuse the joke driven situation (versus situation driven joke). Then…well, Farah Khan forgot where she had started and Shah Rukh Khan finished of the script for her. And we have this mess – moderately funny, but mess nevertheless.

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

Since the characters are regular people you aren’t really expecting a never-imagined-before story. Four couples – four different types of love stories. Fair enough. Presumably each one represents a type of metropolitan relationship. But, does a story about regular people really make for an interesting movie? True, we crave for realism. But, it has to be insightful, leave a mark on your thought process. If a few laughs are what you want, you’ll get those, but I don’t think that is what the makers had in mind. They intended to make something more meaningful in a lighter vein, but light vein is all that we are left with.

And there are a lot of inconsistencies. The funny lines make you laugh, thought not “out loud”. And some supposedly funny situations don’t do even that. The “boss” character was entirely avoidable. Introspective and/or emotional moments turn into lectures that you have imparted/listened to at some point in real life. And most likely, you used much better language. The writer has to be given due credit for inventing a new swear word though.

The actors who deliver these lines aren’t the best at their job either. The best of the lot, Manjari, is just about average in talent. Amruta is loud at most times, Neelam shouldn’t have been given dialogues at all – certainly not English monologues. (Neelam’s screen name is Xenobia and every time she came on screen the word “Xenophobia” kept popping into my head.) Anyway, none of the actors have the screen presence to make it work.

The music could have been a little appealing had there been different tunes to different songs. Since almost all of them sounded the same, by the time you listen to the third song, you have reached the expiry date of the tune. The presentation is at best random. No sizzling dances to sweep you off your feet. Lyrics are by Sameer. Do I really need to say that they weren’t interesting either?

What was interesting though was the camerawork in one of the scenes. So, this is a movie about relationships, you have proposals and you have break-ups. Amidst all the ordinary camerawork, at one such break-up, you have the camera crew getting all creative on you. They take handheld camera shots as used in thrillers, thrilling background music et al. Technically, the entire scene looked completely out-of-place.

Oh well. Mediocrity, thy name is Mumbai Salsa. Stories of our lives may seem interesting to us, but unfortunately they do not make watchable movies. So much for realism!

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

The beauty of abstract concepts is that there are almost as many meanings as there are viewers. What a paradox!? Something that is not obviously meaningful has many more meanings than a clear statement! Oh, did I just digress?

Coming to the point – the movie was a treat for the senses. The background music, sound design, camerawork, special effects – all worked towards narrating the idea. Nope, I cannot make myself say I saw a story; it was a visual description of an idea – a ‘what if…?’ Such cinema might not be the proverbial “everyone’s cup of tea”. But, the point is, it is now available for those who enjoy a different flavor. Thank you, Mr. Director!

John Abraham plays K and absolutely everything in the movie is from K’s point of view. But, don’t let that keep you away, even if you are wary of his acting skills. Because he is literally ‘unbelievably’ good. The transition from the self-obsessed, full-of-himself man to the person who has lost his grip was remarkable. Especially because this came through to us with his performance and not merely the lines given to him. However, we could have certainly survived without the animated thought bubbles. What exactly was their purpose? They were not funny, not insightful – especially since you could make out what John was thinking from his body language and movement of facial muscles (yes believe me, he can actually do that!).

It was a joy to watch Paresh Rawal not making a fool of himself. But his performance lacked a punch that the character demanded. A more powerful, more menacing “Sri Sri Sri … baba” would have been great.

The dialogues are nice and crisp, and absent when not needed – leaving a lot of room for interpretation. At the very least a couple of metaphors to decipher. Especially, the commentary on the infinite self-improvement programmes resorted to these days.

Do any of the umpteen movie awards given out have a bravery award? I guess not. I think the time has come to start one and the first one should go to ‘No smoking’ Not just for the technical brilliance, but for the concept itself.

Sadly, though, it might not go down as well with too many people. And those who are exposed to world cinema, have seen similar stuff before. But, what I admire is that I was able to watch it in a theater that screens mainstream Hindi movies and there were people who applauded when the credits started rolling.

The question that I am still struggling with is – Would I have liked it as much if there were more obscure ideas translating into movies? Well, I’d say bring me more and we’ll know!

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

Life is unambiguous when it is black and white. Everything is crystal clear. My problem with stories usually begins when people transition from black to white (or vice versa) without going through the gray. Here, it irritates, it nags, but soon enough the dialogues and the sheer charm of the actors playing the characters take you away from thinking too much about it.

The dialogues have a very fresh feel to them. They are outright funny at times and quite perceptive at others. And they are hardly ever mundane (except the one given to Dara Singh!). What I found most interesting is that, whether comic or thoughtful, they were very believable.

It must be some sort of an art form to actually make use of Kareena Kapoor’s over-capacity to bubble and sparkle – it’s very well woven into the story. I have always liked the way her eyes express her character’s sorrow. But, in the movies I have watched so far, it is usually a glimpse, just a flicker. Here however, she retains the tone impressively for a longer time. It is also great to see Shaheed Kapoor get the chance to show his maturity as an actor. As clichéd as the events might turn out to be, you don’t want his character to be hurt.

How can escapist cinema survive without its song and dance? We have plenty of foot-tapping numbers with fresh lyrics. The visualization of the songs was also done well. Especially, “tumse hi” – makes you really believe that the characters are in love.

The length of the movie works against it. The average runtime of a movie in recent times is about two hours. There should be a very good reason for me to stay the extra 20-25 minutes, without fidgeting. And in this case, there was no spectacular cause to hold me. Tarun Arora’s (Anshuman’s) sequences were handled rather shabbily – almost as if they were intentionally ignored so that the audience does not empathize with him. They should have been cut down to bare minimum. And Dara Singh was absolutely, totally, completely avoidable – from all aspects – relevance to story, line(s) given to him, and the way he delivers them.

While watching the movie, there were various points at which, I wanted the script to take an unexpected turn. A turn that would make it a little more substantial than just “time-pass”. But, that was not to be. It’s silly, it’s mushy-mushy, it’s not to be taken seriously at all – it’s a perfect date movie. No more, no less.

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers. This review was also published on meetu’s website.

Again, you are not expecting out-of-this-world performances. Just enough to take you through the story. And that the not-so-stellar cast accomplishes. We could have done with a little less excited Zayed Khan, though. And why on earth was Aftab Shivdasani sporting the Mahendra Dhoni look? It is amazing how Aftab can wear the same expression, no matter who he is made to look like. Am not sure whether I can completely blame the actors for the lack of style completely. I have heard the lamest dialogues in those couple of hours I spend watching the movie. How stylistically can you deliver lousy lines after all?

The plot tries to strike a balance between two main threads, at least two mini-threads, 4 actors and their ladies. That’s a whole lot, and thus the loss of focus and mismanagement of pace is not really a surprise. I really didn’t like the way the motivation of the villains unfolds for us. Too little, too late.

What I did like though, are the action sequences saved for Zayed Khan. They are very-well choreographed and executed.

The songs are dull too – lyrics, music, picturization, choreography, et al. Particularly bad is the one which is supposedly a love scene. People, decide – either be bold enough to show a couple actually making love, or skip it! You are fooling no one by using silly editing techniques to imply that the twosome is actually doing anything.

Another director going from bad to worse. Another movie with actors continuing to do what they do in every other movie. Another story that needed at least another year’s worth of work. Another few songs that the cine-goer could have survived without. Another wannabe entertainer released this Friday.

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

We are talking of a movie that claims to be about the ‘journey of a woman’. I refuse to believe that it was supposed to be in the leave-your-brain-home-and-don’t-ask-too-many-questions genre. What could have been a celebration of the spirit of a woman, turns into another story of a woman finding ultimate happiness only in meeting an ideal man. It is uncanny how a salute to womanhood ends in men being the goal of their lives. Not to mention that men are shown as a breed who crave sex. So desperate are they that they pay huge sums to have sex with the most remorseful, uninterested women.

Let alone the societal issues, the treatment given to the story was also half-hearted. The details were missing. Elements that needed build-up happened suddenly. The outcome of things that were built-up over the movie was resolved within 30 seconds of screen time.

The only redeeming factors were the performances by the two leading ladies – Rani Mukherjee and Konkona Sen Sharma. We have seen both these women do a wide variety of roles, and these particular ones don’t stand out from within the standards they have set for themselves. But, that they managed to jerk tears without adequate support from the script or the dialogues is praiseworthy.

The dialogues, especially towards the end were so clichéd that it was outright ridiculous. There was this one pause that Abhishek Bachchan takes mid-sentence. You could sense a huge portion of the audience admire their dialogue-predicting capabilities, when he finishes his line. The dialogues were excessive in a couple scenes given to Konkana. I think, left to her own devices, Konkana could have expressed much more with her silences.

On the other hand, I was bowled over by the lyrics of the songs. Especially, “nistabdh khadi hu mein” and “Kachi kaliyaa”. The music was refreshing because it was different. Now, whether or not the songs deserved time of their own on the screen is a different question altogether.

The camerawork was average. No in-the-face camera or annoying movements except for a few scenes here and there. In fact, there were a couple of very well-done scenes depicting the emotional state of the character. Unfortunately, they did not go with the rest of the film because the technique did not continue in the rest of the movie.

What amused me was the huge compliment the cameraperson paid to Abhishek Bachchan and Rani Mukherjee in the song that was supposedly shot in Switzerland. Just imagine, they had all the scenic beauty in the world to capture and they focused mainly on close to mid-shots of the two-some. Or did they do that to avoid being criticized of favoring the Alps too much? Or could it be because it was not Switzerland at all? The rainbow shot towards the end of the song looked like use of blue screen. If it wasn’t, then that’s a bigger shame, isn’t it? Imagine all that money spent and the effect is that of a blue screen.

Better defined characters and even better defined motivations would have taken this overall interesting plot a long way. But, alas, that is a lot to ask for.

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

Scripts revolving around women deserve brownie points anyway. Why? Because they are bound to be different considering there are such few made. This script, like many others, addresses the problems of the “system” that runs the country. The contemporary touch that it gives the context makes it a gripping watch.

Unfortunately a great chance to have insightful dialogues is lost. And it’s not like the silences are used well. Also, ultimately, it is a message movie. But, the message seems to be geared towards the media. How many takers are there for a message that specific?

Also, there are digressions. One sub-plot used to establish the tone of the movie is too long. And another one, though necessary, is too rushed. Other minor digressions could have been entirely avoided (e.g., those alluding to characters’ love lives). Also, there were a couple loose ends that either should have been entirely left out, or should have been given closure.

Koena Puri and Swati Sen are brilliant actors and it would be a shame if they don’t get such meaty characters to play in the future too. Swati shook me from within, in one of the scenes. The other actors are at best average. Most of them had monotonous, lifeless dialogue delivery.

Though the music isn’t extraordinary, the lyrics are awesome. And, the background score breaking into “It’s breaking news” is a nag.

Unfortunately, outstanding acting by the lead ladies will not be enough to cover the flaws in the details of the script. And this is despite an overall interesting plot. How I wish, it was marketed a little better, so at least a few more people would know about it.

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

What do I say? Where do I start? I must admit, it is the most difficult to write about a suspense thriller “without giving the movie away”. Any specifics that I would like to talk about will contribute to you knowing a bit about the movie. And that would be a crime in this genre. So, here is my attempt at being as unambiguous as possible.

This movie will be talked about a lot for the stylish homage the director pays to the people/styles of movie-making that have inspired him. And for a good reason too. The beauty with which the tributes have been interwoven with the narrative is not something one should write or read about. It has to be watched and applauded. Watch out for the way the subtle tribute to Anand has blended with and become a part of the story.

Acting – one of the departments missing from the list above – is not at its best. Dharmendra deserved far fewer lines considering his dialogue delivery was rather monotonous. Neil Nitin Mukesh is quite flat in some scenes, but overall, he has grasped and enacted the nuances of his character really well. For me, Vinay Pathak was the show stealer. In general, the versatility of this actor is just incredible!

Dialogues – my disappointment with this area might have more to do with the expectations set by the first 15-20 minutes of the movie. The general mysterious tone set in the beginning is missing at certain points later on. Especially, in the climax, keeping the dialogue enigmatic would have had much more impact. But, I am sure it was a balance the director must have struggled with – leave it to the audience to decipher or spoon-feed them.

What impressed me the most was how much I enjoyed the movie despite being a little dissatisfied with the two main departments of the movie – the two most visible ones. Though acting and dialogues are not necessarily the selling points of a movie in this genre. Just goes to show what a long way treatment of material can take a movie.

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

Now, instead of plagiarizing myself, I am going to have you read my complaints, which are the same for this movie, < a href="http://withoutgivingthemovieaway.com/main/reviews/review-ram-gopal-varma-ki-aag/#camerawork">here.

The whole team takes a good share of the blame, because ultimately the director calls the shots and directs the camerawork. Also, what the audience feels has a lot to do with the way the actors are shot. On the other hand, maybe, just maybe if the performances are strong enough they can rise above the other drawbacks. But, none of that happens.

The entire cast does a reasonably mediocre job. Each one of them starts with one expression that suits their character and holds on to it for the rest of the movie. As I mentioned earlier, it is difficult to judge the performances. The extra-dull dialogues didn’t help either. The movie was called Darling because Geeta (Esha Deol) wanted to call Aaditya (Fardeen Khan) “Darling” sarcastically every ten mintues. Or may be it was the other way round. The script was far from satisfactory too. If the script does not move forward, how can the actors be expected to change their expressions, you see.

Also, I can’t remember another movie in which songs seemed more forced in. Even the item numbers at the beginning and the end seemed to be there to keep people happy. Like a promise to be kept with Nisha Kothari. Or like Isha Koppikar’s excessively-clad character needed some breathing space, so “here do an item number, and throw that character-defining sari away”. Oh and the crooning, “oooo-oooo-tadap-tadap” sounded so familiar, just can’t remember which other movie had a similar tune…it’s at the tip of my tongue… Yeah-yeah, I am good at subtle sarcasm.

So, a suspense thriller which makes you laugh instead of making you clench your nails into the seat. A camera that does all the moving on behalf of the plot. I am not left with many insults to fling at the whole team.

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

Some of the gags were sadly derived from jokes that I first heard when I was ten, and have been deleting as e-mail forwards for the last ten years. On the other hand though, caricatures of some of the side-side-characters were outright hilarious and acted out really well too.

You have to give them credit for creating an atmosphere of general interest throughout the movie. Within the first fifteen minutes you know that no matter what the lead characters plan, they are going to fall flat on their face (not literally, thank goodness!) But, it is the manner in which they fall that is pretty creative at most times. Unfortunately, the second half sees you playing catch-up with the five characters and what they are up to. The structure of the story itself becomes such that no amount of editing could create a flow in the narration.

The performances were a mix of the good, the bad and the ugly too. Riteish Deshmukh and Javed Jaffrey added nuances to their characters with their comic timing. Sanjay Dutt and Ashish Chowdhary looked plain and disinterested. One doesn’t expect any less from Asrani in a slapstick – the screaming is written off as soon as you know his name in the starcast. Here is the shocker – Arshad Warsi takes his cue from Asrani – how heart-breaking is that!

Did anyone notice – no female lead! Ain’t that great!? We all know how they could have easily been misused in a movie of this genre. No women also usually make the songs pretty much boring. The plain-as-ever lyrics and the lackluster music don’t help. Not to mention the ridiculous choreography and the resultant indifference with which the cast executed it. What a waste of Javed Jaffrey! The background music did make certain situations funnier. But then, it got a bit much and annoying when it was used for every single movement of any character or object.

There certainly are a few very good laughs packed in the two hours – about twenty minutes worth. But is that good enough to forgive the tolerable, miscellaneous comedy? On a lazy Sunday afternoon, on DVD with a remote control in hand – yes.

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

The script flows reasonably well. The ‘ups and downs’ that build towards the climax manage to retain the curiosity that is aroused in the first five minutes. Actually, that should be ‘downs and downs’ – yeah the theme at hand is dark and so is the story. The climax does feel a little rushed but again, given the sensitivity of the topic it is difficult to imagine any other way to end the movie.

Unfortunately, a few plot points seem contrived. Also the movie gets border-line preachy every once in a while. And sermons equal boredom. Nevertheless there are a few thought-provoking philosophical one-liners that make the dialogues a little above average.

It was exciting to watch the two main characters unfold and they were deftly kept consistent – which is a rarity in itself now-a-days. Muzzamil Ibrahim grasped the nuances of the character pretty well. His good looks and the perfect physique is going to set many a heart thumping. I am sure not many are going to mind the multiple number of showers he takes. Tulip Joshi does not have too many lines but performs wonderfully in the one scene of substance that she is given.

That said, the side characters are absolutely underdeveloped and seemed really functional . In fact, Nandini played by Aushima Sawhney does not even have a fathomable function. What was Nandini doing in the story except showing off Aushima Sawhney’s shoulders!?

While walking out of the theater, I was wondering what is it that makes a gloomy subject a pleasant watch. It’s not as if the performances were breathtakingly mesmerizing, or the screenplay was so taut that you didn’t notice the sadness of it all. I think along with other positives mentioned above, it is the mature camerawork and lighting that added to the experience. It was also refreshing to hear some good lyrics set to decent tunes.

Unfortunately, this is one of those movies that will go unnoticed by more than many. I hope it is not because people have lost their belief in cinema as a form of entertainment because of a catastrophe called Aag that hit our industry this week.

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

95 minutes of runtime

= 45 minutes of borrowed music

+ 45 minutes of the loudest background score

+ 5 minutes of one original(?) track

95 minutes of runtime

= 7 minutes of Rakhi Sawant’s boob show (*whatever!*)

+ 3 minutes of Anupam Kher telling you that you will die laughing (*liar*)

+ 10 minutes of Ranvir Shorey’s over-acting (*sob*)

+ 25 minutes of Om Puri, Anupam Kher, Prem Chopra, and Paresh Rawal having sex (*yuck!*)

+ 5 minutes of cat-fights (*hmph*)

+ 5 minutes of literal “aaaaaa” shouting (*headache*)

+ 40 minutes of other cast being generally deafening because that is the genre of the movie (*more headache*)

95 minutes of runtime

= 3 funerals

+ 1 Rakhi Sawant saying, “Sigmund Freud”

+ 7 (at the last count) soap opera-ish sleeping around

+ 3 distasteful gay jokes

+ 1 slap on womanhood every time a woman comes on screen

+ 1 reveiwer wanting to know who enjoys this kind of comedy

95 minutes of runtime

= 90 minutes of reviewer wanting to get out of the theater

+ 5 minutes of reviewer trying to hide her face while getting out of the theater

+ Infinite number of minutes of reviewer hating her job for the first time ever

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Scroll down to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

Spoiler Warning: This section has additional observations, other than the ones noted in the main review. It may have some details that could distort your experience while watching the movie.

Story: Laxmikant Kabadiya (Anupam Kher) dies and his family wants to keep his death from the world for a couple days and then another couple days and then another few days…

Sorry, readers, my brains were shut off while watching this movie, so couldn’t allow myself to jot down anything for the sections that usually appear here.

What worked:

What didn’t:

Nitty-gritty:

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

If we were to plot a graph of the level of interest in the movie against the 100 odd minutes’ run-time, the first hour or so would be pretty flat and close to the axis. By that time, when Prem’s ever-smiley character shows an uncharacteristically different shade – you pretty much don’t care which direction the graph is headed. Its exasperating when four stories try to unfold out of nowhere in the last 40 minutes. I was just relieved to leave the theater after the vertical drop in the last 10 minutes to run to the nearest available paracetamol.

They should have done something to pep the script up, considering the acting was pretty much going to be flat or over the top. Oh right! Music was the supposed solution to this problem – a break in the monotony. In the director’s own words, “Music, of course, was the key part of the story of MARIGOLD“. Excuse me, director sahib – what story? Unfortunately, the music did not serve its purpose. Music from Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy’s other movies was used a lot as being played in pubs and rickshaws. These older numbers were much more entertaining than the originals for this one. One thing I was looking forward to, after watching the promotional trailers, was the visuals of the songs. Yep, flat there too!!

One thing that was not dull though, was the animation used for transitions (they had an editor, you see). They were bright, colorful and well, extremely out-of-place and kitschy.

There is some attempt at labeling Marigold as Hollywood’s spoof on marriage with Bollywood, or something like that. Guys, let’s fix first things first – let’s try and make cinema first and then maybe we can talk about where it is from, and who can take digs on whom. Or were they, in the name of being Bollywood-like, just trying to give excuses for the innumerable problems in their own script?

By the way, readers, I tried not to sound clichéd and stereotypical by avoiding the following words – cliché, stereotypical, repetitive, yikes, eeeewww, Oh Gawd … you get the general idea, right?

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

Yes, the movie is a fairy tale and is narrated as such. Melodrama is used where a parent would use exaggerated voice modulation to narrate the story. But, I still wouldn’t call it a children’s movie. It is very unlikely that the hues, the pace, or the subtle sense of humor are going to retain a child’s attention. On the other hand, it is a very short movie and what a perfect way this would be to introduce the art that cinema is to children! And yes parents, there is a moral at the end of the story.

The camerawork, both indoors and outdoors, is simply breathtaking. Harayana’s tourism department could very well use scenes from here to advertise its scenic beauty. Though the interiors are largely shot in the dark, the lighting and colors are used to beautify the scenes to perfection. A few scenes are shot from the point of view of a character or an object, allowing you to see what they/it are seeing – here the camera in combination with the background score has been used to enhance the emotion sought to be created. There were a few frames that were outright ugly, almost felt like they were shot by a different camera crew altogether. But, after a while, I noticed that such shots were used specifically for the darker characters. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, but if the viewer feels obligated to rationalize the things they don’t like, the director has done his job well, right?

The simple story is complemented by simple music which is soft on the ears. The lyrics very appropriately followed a child’s train of thoughts. Reminded me a lot of Gulzar’s own ‘lakdi ki kaathi‘ from Masoom – a song that I grew up listening to. The lyrics especially stood out when the umbrella, an inanimate object, was being spoken of as a lover.

What stuck out as a sore thumb was the acting by all the side characters. In fact, the little girl’s performance was also not up to mark. It was lifeless and flat. Pankaj Kapoor however, made up for all of it with brilliant body language. And this movie is more about the artistic representation of the subject, more than any individual performance. Though, the movie is about the characters, it is not a character driven script. Here I go rationalizing again!

This movie is as much a trip to fantasy land as it is an experiment with the medium through creative use of camera, lighting, music and color. A work of art that is very rarely made available to the common movie-going population. So, catch it while it is still in the theaters, because a DVD might not do full justice to the overall effort.

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

This is Jaideep Sahni’s movie all the way. The little unexpected things in the script make all the difference in an otherwise ordinary plot. In a movie about underdogs trying to achieve the impossible, you pretty much know where the story is going. It’s the “how” you get there that counts and CHAKDE! INDIA scores (all pun intended!) at many levels. The obstacles that the characters encounter on the ride, and how they are overcome, keep you glued with enthusiasm till they reach their destination. And I am really glad they stuck to the hockey team and did not whine too much about the coach and his life.

The rhythmic ups and downs in the story are supported equally well by the crisp, witty dialogues and the you-are-smart-viewers silences. The sub-episodes flow from one into another without being episodic. That the editors did their job well is also demonstrated by this remark I overheard on my way out of the movie, “The good thing about Hindi movies these days is that they are only two hours. 9.30 to 11.30 – nice movie”. The movie had actually started at 9. If a movie felt 20% shorter than it was, the editing department has done their job really well.

Oh yeah, casting…the first thing you do to sell an ideology is to get a popular actor on board. But, they went one step further. The whole team is perfectly cast. From the hockey team to the hockey association members – not one of them can be singled out for not fitting into the shoes of the character. It is difficult to say whether the dialogues were written first or the actors were chosen first.

Okay – I loved Shah Rukh Khan’s acting! There – I said it. Done. (Believe me – It wasn’t remotely as easy for me to write this as it is to read it.) The smirks were conspicuous by their absence; there was only an occasional, unnecessarily long-paused sentence; no romantic lines delivered in half-whispers (thank goodness!); and – get this – no trade-marked raising of hands on the side as if he is waiting for me to hug him. Best of all, he shared the space with the girls without overshadowing them. No-no, it’s not only things that he did not do. There are things that he did right too. He was very controlled in emoting frustration, happiness, anger, disbelief. Actually all this made me excuse the occasional “I am the King” attitude (Ray Ban, et al)…ahem…okay…now before I get a divorce notice in the comment space here, let’s wrap this up here.

When the entire audience is rooting for a women’s hockey team for 150 minutes straight, you know the movie has worked. The movie certainly achieved its aim of drawing attention to our national sport and especially to the plight of the women in this sport. It invoked the national spirit, made us whistle and cheer, clap hard, and laugh out loud. It was almost like we were in a stadium watching an actual game. The question, now, is – are we sensitized enough to do something about the situation? Meanwhile, like Shah Rukh’s acting keep your expectations in control and enjoy the show.

Rating: Watch for sure, preferably in theatre

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

The movie starts out brilliantly. I was truly intrigued by the way we see Gandhiji as a father. You could see the human element instead of the usual demi-god status that this simple man is accorded. The parent-child problem felt so real because it was so much like any other parent-child problem – diverse expectations, disappointment in both directions, and the inevitable frustration. It really threw light on a totally different aspect of Gandhiji. Alas, the cookie crumbles. And the director could not maintain this tension past the first half hour.

Soon enough, Gandhiji is put back on the pedestal. And the movie becomes a documentation of the history of our independence. A snippet of what Gandhiji was doing at that time, and another of what Harilal was doing at that time – literally alternating rhythmically. This also gives the movie a very choppy feel. Scenes just cut into each other under the guise of fade-ins and fade-outs rather than flowing with the narrative.

It’s the actors that make this worth a watch. You could feel Gandhiji’s inclination towards his aspirations for the country while feeling responsibility towards his family. Darshan Jariwala has done great justice to portray the various shades of Gandhiji’s personality – calm, preachy, upset, firm, ambitious, etc.

I usually don’t care for weak, loser-type characters in stories. But, Akshaye Khanna makes you feel for the nervous, diffident, eager-to-please Harilal who has a huge image to live up to. You can sense the pressure the son faces – wanting to impress his father but fortunately or unfortunately discovering that he has a mind and ambitions of his own.

Shefali Shah, as usual, leaves you spell-bound. One look at her and you can imagine what Baa must have been going through at that time. Her make-up person needs special mention – each wrinkle seemed to have received minute attention. And I cannot forget Bhumika Chawla’s expressions of frustration and helplessness, though she had very little time on the screen.

I found the background settings extremely distracting. For a movie set in the early-mid 20th century, and for a not-so-bright subject matter, the colors seemed too bright and the objects in the background too new. These things took away from the drama that could have been created. Also, clichéd use of rain to demonstrate pathos in the life of the characters was too in-the face. The solemn background music could not do much to retain the drama given the cheerful visuals. Of course, it could be argued that colors of our walls do not change according to whether we are happy or sad, but a freshly painted wall in the room of a person who doesn’t have enough to feed his family, just doesn’t gel.

My main complaint though remains that we are not allowed entry into the minds of the characters. A huffy-puffy Harilal is not enough to convey his frustration. His motivations are never explained. Or for that matter, Gandhiji’s justifications for his decisions were not clarified either. Even if we do give the benefit of doubt that such information might not be available, the question remains – why make a movie about relationships without knowing the rationale behind the characters’ behavior?

I set out to see what being a son to the father of our nation was like. I came out with glimpses of their relationship and a whole lot of unanswered questions. Fortunately, I also came out with some fine performances by the entire cast. Which is enough to keep the movie from being a complete disappointment.

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

I don’t care much for the David Dhawan style of escapism and I certainly don’t think we were missing much while Govinda was away pulling faces in the parliament. So, obviously, by transitivity I am certainly not big on the David Dhawan-Govinda combination. (Ok, no need to get all geeky on me and bring up the nitty-gritty of the theory.) The point is that if you fall in any of the above categories, you are at the wrong place.

Having offended 64% of the Hindi cinema-goers, I must reassure the rest of you that I am in no way trying to infuse any intellect into a David Dhawan presentation. Lest my intellect be questioned. Still searching my heart and soul desperately – looking for something more than a few jokes to like the movie.

Unfortunately, I am also not into Salman Khan, his biceps (or his jokes on showing them off), or his very intentional melodramatic dialogue delivery. Oh well…might as well go ahead and say that Katrina Kaif looks more and more like a plastic doll with heavy make-up on. The good thing is the director was smart enough not to give her too many lines. Oops! I just lost another 34 (31 + 3)% of the Hindi cinema goers. Lara Dutta on the other hand, is looking prettier by the day. And somehow that has also improved her acting.

When ideas are copied from some other movies, obviously making a frame-by-frame copy adds no creative value. But, when you see the additions made to Andy Tennant’s Hitch in Partner you begin to rethink your unwarranted and utterly ridiculous demands for creativity.

When there were no songs for the first 20 odd minutes, I thought I had dozed off at some point and missed a whole load of fun. Though I must say that they were making up for it with the extra background score and loudly delivered lines. And when calamities come they come in battalions. I was shown song after song with music that you could tap your feet to but was missing the extra something that makes a song memorable. And well, the lyrics lack soul. But, the good thing about Salman and Govinda is that they never disappoint as dancers. Though I could have survived even without their pelvises being thrust here, there and everywhere (sitting in second row from screen did not help!). But, then can’t really complain, can I? It is a David Dhawan movie, after all.

I must admit that this is more than the regular slapstick that has people chasing people and throwing stuff at each other. There is the regular slapstick (Govinda with pants down, et al) + a missile chasing Salman in a scuba suit (Oh come on girls, wipe that drool!!) + a choTa Don with the Don theme music in the background + etc. Sounds like fun to you? Go for it! May be the last 2% of us should form a self-help group so we can begin to understand the rest of our race.

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

There are loads of characters and side-characters, so the half-hour taken to establish them is justifiable. Movies like this exist neither to shock nor entertain nor thrill nor to provide relief from the daily grind. They are made just because someone thought more people should hear this story. Almost all the characters are gray and they exist just for you to know them – not for you to judge or feel for.

Since the going was slow, I had a lot of time to pay attention to things other than the “object” of the camera, and what he/she is saying/doing. Especially, since they did not have anything new to say/do after a while. The background stood out. The narrative is set up in a crowded set of buildings – Bow Barracks. There is constant but changing noise (children playing, people cooking, etc) in the background which adds flavor to the scene. The messy rooms reflected the personalities of the occupants. Though it does raise a question in my organization-crazy mind – did none of them really care for any sort of orderliness?! Oh well…

I also enjoyed the picturization of the songs. The style was similar in all songs – shots of the singer singing, interspersed with the happenings at Bow Barracks. It was engaging, nevertheless, mainly because the singer was different every time and brought his/her style and nuances to the screen. The camera purposefully moves, in a style different from the way the rest of the movie is picturized, to give it the slightest video album touch.

Unfortunately, the screenplay and the dialogues make this a drag to watch. Thirty minutes shorter and the movie would improve on both counts, because inevitably all the repetitive lines would have to see the door.

So, if you are the kind for whom something needs to happen every minute, and the movie has to have an absolute definable purpose – please don’t bother. But for those of you, who can ignore the flaws and focus on the characters – wait for the movie to be out on DVD and rent it when you are in a not-so-light mood.

Parental warning! Loads of profanity and sexual content. Moderate violence.

Rating: Wait for video release

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

Only days after the inafamous ‘kiss’ with the Manchester Untied player, Bipasha Basu has been seen out and about with Saif Ali Khan, and both of them seemed to be living it up.

A friend of Bipasha says, “She is not the kind of woman to just get on to another guy when she has just come out of a very painful relationship with John. We friends know just how hurt she is. This whole thing with Saif seems more on the rebound. For her sake, we hope it works out for her. He seems like a nice guy but he does come with a whole lot of baggage too…”

Now what are your thoughts… what is Bipasha doing… leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

As a movie buff I would watch this movie just for the creative concept. Unfortunately, however, it does not get support from any of the other departments. Also, it’s a shame that while the overall plot is imaginative, way too many individual scenes are so clichéd that you can say what’s going to happen next with your eyes, ears and brains shut.

As any thriller should, the movie moves at a remarkably fast pace and before you know it you are watching the interval previews. And thus no time is wasted on character development, detailing or consistency. Also the actors playing these characters don’t help the cause. Barring Akshaye Khanna, the rest of the ensemble either drone to make you sleep or shriek to wake you up. And it isn’t Akshaye’s best performance either. Part of the credit for lousy acting and characterization should also go to the ridiculous dialogues.

They seemed to have had a hard time trying to decide whether this should have been a comedy or a suspense thriller. I am willing to take a bet that it would have been a much better product if they had chosen one and just stuck by it. Mixing the two has done irreparable damage to it. Especially since the thrilling twists and turns, very unintentionally, make you laugh and the juvenile comedy makes you grit your teeth in anger. And the back and forth manipulations in the second half become a tad too exhausting for the viewer.

The saving grace is that the director of photography, the editor, and the sound designer have shown considerable restraint. Given the locales and the subject of the movie it was very easy to go overboard in these departments.

On the other hand, I seem to have run out of ways to complain about Sameer’s lyrics. And is it original music by Pritam this time? That could explain why it is worse than mediocre.

What I find most amazing about any work of art is the passion with which the artist creates it. In a movie it is more exciting because there are so many passionate people involved. But it is most unfortunate when almost everything looks like a half-hearted attempt. What a waste of a clever idea because nobody felt the need to pay attention to the details!

Rating: Watch if you have nothing better to do

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers

No-no, I wouldn’t claim the award for sitting through the whole movie. That I have immense capacity for – call me a masochist. I deserve it because not only do I have the gall to let the world know that I watched this, I am also spending another few hours writing about it. I deserve something special in return!! Okay, I give my humble self a break. Hopefully my time and energy has earned some respect and you will skip the movie.

Calling this movie slapstick is an offense. Do pee-gases-poop-jokes really make even slapstick-lovers laugh? Are falling people, water fights, mistaken identities so amusing that you can make an entire movie out of it? By they way, did anyone even consider real dialogues versus what the actors seem to have come up with from their own stand-up acts? How I longed for a single song – however bad, however inappropriately placed? Especially if it would have meant taking some screen time from the 15-minute-long people-hiding-in-closets-sequence and another 15-minute passing-the-treasure-game.

We would be fools to expect a story when it took them 45 minutes to just introduce the dozen and a half “characters”. Vijay Raaz was the only actor who made an attempt at a performance. The rest were just basking in their own glory of over-acting, oblivious to the world who wanted their ears, their hair, their brains intact.

Of late, in general, even an overall bad movie has good camerawork, editing, sound design. Not here! Close-ups are so close that at least one character has his face chopped off – lower-lip and downward. I noticed at least two cuts mid-sentence when Raju Srivastav was speaking to the camera for some reason or the other. The characters were yelling at the top of their voices for me to be able to even notice the other noises.

Don’t worry guys, I haven’t been absolutely selfless here. I watched the movie because I have to. I told the world that I watched it because I wanted the award. I wrote this review in such length because one needs an outlet for one’s frustration.

Rating: Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Rating Scale (best to worst):
• Must see – on the big screen
• Watch for sure, preferably in theatre
• Wait for video release
• Watch if you have nothing better to do
• Switch channels if it’s on cable!

Click on next page to read the details meetu scribbled while watching the movie – this may include spoilers